Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Chupacabra Terror Post

Stefan and Courtney recently recommended that we watch a little movie called ‘The Chupacabra Terror’. The film is about a blood sucking beast (the Chupacabra) which is pretty much the south American version of Big Foot but with a less tell-tale name. Actually that’s not true, Chupacabra translates to ‘goat-sucker’ apparently. Anyway, so this illusive beast is caught by a scientist guy who takes it on a cruise ship (um…why not) and the thing escapes and pretty much eats everyone on board. It’s up to John Rhys-Davis and a guy called Lance to stop the thing. Pretty much it’s absolutely terrible- but in a hilariously good way. Due to the awfully-bad slash amazingly spectacular nature of the film I have decided to take an alternative route than the usual movie review post. Without further ado here is the top 10 reasons (in no particular order) why you should definitely / definitely not see the Chupacabra Terror:
  • The fact that this movie came out in 2005 and has the production value of a Xena Warrior Princess episode.
  • It stars Jonathan Rhys Davis (the dwarf from Lord of the Rings) who apparently ran out of hobbit gold.
  • The Navy Seal uniforms consist of skate helmets and Ranger Surplus vests.
  • The Chubacabra's wallhumping/evil scampering (done in super high tech fast-forward)
  • "So I am guessing you aren't really an insurance salesman. " "Right now, I'm the best insurance you got!" [cocks gun]
  • The “To Us!” toast given by two a-hole honeymooners before they get Chubacabra-ed
  • How drunk the dishwasher-guy gets off of one swig of stolen wine (right before he gets thrown off a balcony by the monster).
  • The enthusiastic “Tango Bango! Get some!” comment by the Navy Seal’s when they get the call to go help the distressed cruise liner.
  • The fact that the illusive creature can be caught in the woods off of a highway with a goat as bait and a fishing net.
  • Any and all lines delivered by Chelan Simmons. “Ugh, it’s the Chupacabra!” being the number one pick which I unfortunately cannot find a YouTube link for.

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